Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
