I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You ate ashes out of my bong
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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