Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize