Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
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Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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