Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
