$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
