Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
