THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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