just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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