Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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