Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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