I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
