couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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