After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize