Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
