The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
