i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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