garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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