so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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