My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
