I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
