Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
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I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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