How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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