Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
