Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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