I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
