Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize