Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
