; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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