Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
