if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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