When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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