if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
