is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
