there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize