After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
