Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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