so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
