We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
