i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
