Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
