Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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