ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
