If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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