On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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