Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
