Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
