I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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