He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
