there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
