is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
