my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
