You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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