Sry I called you an 8
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
