I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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