someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
