I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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