If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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