Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
