Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
