he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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