so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
